The Polo

Every now and then, I get reminded that I’m not a child anymore. Despite my reckless spending habits and regular instances of day-drinking, I unconsciously am quite grown-up; the monotony of the real world sucks you into a lulled state, and only now and then do you get reminded that this is your life now. I’m in a status quo, with no real expiry. If I don’t do anything, this is how it could always be.

And suddenly, I’ve realized that things can end without heated arguments, backhand remarks; without the need to feel like you’ve won, with honesty not intended for malice, without resentment. I realize that I’ve passed this phase. Maybe it doesn’t necessarily help as much in the moment (there’s no glory to cling to), but it makes moving forward a lot better. 

Do you ever have revelations from things so dated, its almost better left alone, so that you don’t stay up thinking all night and tracing it back to yourself. It probably wasn’t you. But maybe if you had said yes, they would have too. They asked the questions you never could. They said the things you never did. And maybe their defenses started because you showed yours first. Maybe it meant nothing. Maybe it was something. Just hope a few small decisions wouldn’t have stopped something bound to be great.